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Vancouver at NightIt’s only 3 days until I fly off to Vancouver and I can definitely say that the last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions! Since handing my notice in at work, my head has been backwards and forwards wondering if I’ve made the right decision, questioning why I’ve been wanting to try moving to Vancouver for a period of time and second guessing quite a lot. At the same time 2015 has also been scary but exciting, liberating and full of incredible moments spent with loved ones and friends that i have appreciated more than I think I would’ve done if I did not have this trip planned.

I think the worries I’m having at the moment are down to the realisation that this is actually happening! I’ve talked about it for so long and now that I’m actually doing it I’m not quite believing I am going. I also still feel quite underprepared since I have not been taking any time to sit down and do stuff but rather I’ve been having a wonderful time out and about constantly, seeing friends, going for drinks and just spending my time anywhere other than sitting down at home with my computer and mapping out where it is I want to stay and what I will be doing.
I have made some enquiries regarding work and have a few people to meet up with when I arrive which is a positive but the worries such as, will my bank card work ok? Will I be able to find a flat share easily enough? What happens if I get to the border and they don’t let me enter do stop me from feeling as excited as I could be at this point! I suppose this lack of sitting down and planning has meant I haven’t been allowing myself to get as excited as I want to be because I am still clinging on to what I have here and am scared of leaping into the unknown. At the same time, what people keep telling me and what I really do need to keep telling myself is that, I am so fortunate to be doing this, to be able to follow a dream that I have wanted to do for such a long time. Even if I go for 3 months and decide I miss Craig too much or that Vancouver just isn’t for me I can always come back but this experience is one that I can keep with me for the rest of my life and I need to try looking forward and not back.

The last couple of weeks have been really wonderful. Last Friday night I had my final get together with my closest of friends and it was amazing. I met some of my old work colleagues first for a drink then headed to a bar in Holborn to spend the night catching up and dancing with friends, old and new and it really was so much fun. Even my brother and a few of his friends rocked up, all decked out in their suits and partied the night away.
Me and my girls
 As well as this, Thursday  was my last day at work which was very emotional. I have worked there for a year and a half, which isn’t too long in the grand scheme of things but it is such a family company and I have made some incredible friends there. I made some peanut butter squares, tiffins and a passion cake (Nigella Lawson’s recipe) for my last day (always love an excuse for baking!) and then headed to the pub after work with everyone and felt like a very special person. Two of my closest friends at work made me a special Jamie Dornan card which shows how well they know me and it was just a wonderful night of chatting to everyone and saying goodbye but also very emotional too. The lovely thing about it is that everyone was saying how amazing Canada will be and one of my friends who lived in Vancouver for 2 years always reminds me how lucky I am that I have a visa and am going.
Jamie Dornan card
 On a plus side I found out that an old school friend is flying out in March which is lovely as I will know someone now. I’ve also had such positive responses from people I’ve contacted about work which makes me think that Canadians are super lovely, however, I don’t want to get my hopes up as I really don’t know what I’ll be doing yet. On top of this two of my close fiends really want to travel around South America in the Summer which I have been wanting to do for ages so there is potential to do some trips here and there depending on work and budget of course but these are all exciting adventures. I have three days now to sort a lot of bits and bobs out but hopefully once I start planning places I want to go and look at places to live it will all start to fall into place. From reading about moving to Canada and searching through other blogs there is one that has really helped me through which is http://www.ourcanadianadventure.co.uk  It really helps to hear from others who went through the same emotions and to learn that the experience overall was completely worth it. I know it will be difficult to begin with, it’s a huge change, but it will be a challenge and one that I hope to accomplish and come back with incredible memories and go on a fantastic journey.
As Ellen Johnson Sirleaf says: If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough! Therefore in this case I am going to dream big and see where my dreams take me.
If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enoughIf you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello